Regina Cannot Explain It All


I'm Regina Small. I'm a writer and editor in NYC. Interests include: sci-fi/fantasy, summertime daydrinking, trying to be a better person, fancy manicures, cooking, absurd humor, philosophy and the role of irony in the modern world.

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I already love in you your beauty, but I am only beginning to love in you that which is eternal and ever previous – your heat, your soul. Beauty one could get to know and fall in love with in one hour and cease to love it as speedily; but the soul one must learn to know. Believe me, nothing on earth is given without labour, even love, the most beautiful and natural of feelings.
Leo Tolstoy to Valeria Arsenev (November, 1856)

(via lifeinpoetry)

I have gone out, a possessed witch,
haunting the black air, braver at night;
dreaming evil, I have done my hitch
over the plain houses, light by light:
lonely thing, twelve-fingered, out of mind.
A woman like that is not a woman, quite.
I have been her kind.

I have found the warm caves in the woods,
filled them with skillets, carvings, shelves,
closets, silks, innumerable goods;
fixed the suppers for the worms and the elves:
whining, rearranging the disaligned.
A woman like that is misunderstood.
I have been her kind.

I have ridden in your cart, driver,
waved my nude arms at villages going by,
learning the last bright routes, survivor
where your flames still bite my thigh
and my ribs crack where your wheels wind.
A woman like that is not ashamed to die.
I have been her kind.

Anne Sexton, “Her Kind” (via iameatingpoetry)
Hey, Arabelle. I wanted to talk with you about something because I know you're a feminist and a make up artist. I've always rejected the idea of wearing make-up because I wanted to be as natural as possible (in this behaviour my father had a great influence). So I've been carrying a washed face almost all the time. Now I'm 25 and see some signs of aging in my face. I'd like to wear make up, but I feel like cheating or lying to others. Has something like this happened to you?. Thanks and kisses!
nerdshares nerdshares Said:

arabellesicardi:

Nope. I have never approached makeup from the standpoint that natural is inherently more beautiful or authentic. I am staunchly #teamfake. I don’t care for the whole “beauty is an industry directed purely for the male gaze / fight the system by not wearing anything at all” boat. Nope. You can be a horrible and ugly person inside and be “beautiful just the way you are”, you can be a very untrustworthy person and be all about “au naturale”. I also think the idea of upholding naturalism as this great ethos doesn’t give space for trans people who use makeup to help them express their gender. makeup gives a lot of people agency, makeup totally helps people express their truth. a person using it to become themselves is not lying. your identity, it is an event. you become through intention and choices. starting from zero doesn’t mean you are point zero — you are more than your naked body. it is not a lie to manipulate your body through mediums in which you feel like you are becoming yourself. the whole natural/feminine association is meant to make women seem literally, actually, historically crazy. beauty has always been seen as unreasonable. this is misogynist. i do not stand for it. in reality, i really don’t give a fuck if i’m presenting “false advertising” to someone through makeup. i am constantly misread all the time anyway, as straight, as cis, as femme, as 100% white gurl. it is totally not my priority to play into people’s basic assumptions of me by not using makeup at all. it would just make people misread me at a starting point that i don’t feel i really am anymore. i use makeup to deal and negotiate myself into an identity i can survive and thrive in and this is not lying. i might be queering aesthetics, which i guess is cheating the system of tools in which i use — and so the fuck what if i am. not using beauty products doesn’t make someone inherently more morally sound than me. it just makes them poorly moisturized. 

Before I die, I want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe.
Andrea Gibson, Bone Burying. (via alotlikeyouu)
We try to love what cannot be tamed. Wild horses,
clear vodka in shapely bottles, angry men and the things
they carry. We have done what we could. They say
anything they can to justify leaving. That we are
always sad. That we have let our hearts burn out
for lesser things than them. They accuse us of being
too sad to love. We’re not sure where we’ve learned
this, to want the things we know we can’t have.
We put on a dress, any dress. Lick our black lips,
pin up our hair. We have learned to kiss boys
with our tongues in the dark. They say after,
there is fire in our breath when we sleep. Chances are,
we are all the same, riding high on velvet blue nights.
Our weaknesses have names and phone numbers,
addresses we can send anonymous letters to,
detailing our escape. We are praying for sixteen again,
for tulle and prom dresses and clear skin and boys
who still have to ask to hold our hands. They say
they can find us by our cheekbones, that they are
small, miraculous sources of light. We’re doomed
without our mothers. Sometimes we’re safe
but usually we’re not. The crime scene tape
should have been your first clue.
Kristina Haynes, “We Try to Love” (via fleurishes)

(via lifeinpoetry)

I’m unapologetic not because I’m strong-willed or overconfident, I’m unapologetic because this is it; this is my life. There is nothing I can do, no one I can please. I am a person with a strong sense of being, that’s all.
Jean Seberg (via emilymlarson)

(via fourlittlebees)

Today I made butternut squash gnocchi from scratch and it was delicious but man, what a pain in the ass.

You said I could have anything I wanted, but I
just couldn’t say it out loud.

I just read this 2008 New Yorker profile of Alec Baldwin that they reposted ~*from the archives*~ and this was before he remarried and he was kind of exactly the same shade of ragey malcontent he was last year or whenever he wrote his goodbye letter to NYC - and while I don’t get his particular rage, I do feel there’s something I’m beginning to understand about rage as a lifestyle.